Sup bros, I know it’s been like ten months or something since my last post, but I’m back just in time to offer up a few helpful tips for the big day. As you know, Valentine’s Day is here, and you know what that means: spending a bunch of ca$h on your little lady. BUT IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE! I’m here to show you how to save your hard earned bacon or whatever while still charming her enough to not dump you.
1. GIFTS
2. DINNER
A popular Valentine’s Day tradition, dinner can also be a huge expense. Instead of taking your sig. oth. to a fancy restaurant, I’ve got a tip that’s 10 times as romantic at 1/10th the price! Instead of going out to a crowded restaurant with a bunch of nerds trying to impress their lady, take her on a candlelight picnic in the park! This time of year, the parks are oddly empty. She’ll love the pitch black and dead silence of the park at night. To save even more money, forget the candles and dine by moonlight! You can take whatever food you have in your refrigerator. It becomes twice as easy if you bring left-overs! Make sure to take a tarp instead of a blanket to cover the wet ground. For some extra romance, stare at your girl intensely, not saying a single word. Make sure to breathe very deeply and very slowly. “I don’t know about this,” she might say. Comfort her with your silence; maybe widen your eyes and don’t blink. “What? Why are you staring at me?” she’ll ask. “Trevor, say something.” But you’ll just open your mouth in silent laughter, wide eyes staring romantically into her soul.
3. IMPRESS
You may want to prove to your girlfriend that you know a thing or two about something other than Family Guy and Halo:Reach. Well how about watching one of this year’s most talked about films? This year, the academy seems to have had a love affair with girl movies. Rom-coms such as Blue Valentine would be the perfect movie to watch with your girlf on this holiest of nights. It’s sure to be a movie that’ll have you laughing and falling in love all over again. If rom-coms aren’t your thing, how about Black Swan? It’s got everything girls love: ballet; classical music; make up; love, probably. And if you don’t want to shell out the 26 bucks for a couple movie tickets, why not just illegally download them and watch on your laptop! She’ll be impressed with your culture AND your budget savvyness.
I hope I helped you out on how to save money this evening while still giving your girl the VD of her dreams!
We all know that the only thing girls love more than crappy movies is GIFTS. Obviously diamonds are a girl’s best ______, but what if you’re unemployed/a cheap c-hole? Well how about making something for your sweet tart? Instead of shelling out sixty bucks for a dozen roses, how about picking some wildflowers from the side of the road? Or since it’s probably winter where you are and all life is dead, gather a bunch of sticks off the ground! It’s the allure of nature without the hefty price tag! For a festive touch, hold the faggot together with some duct tape that you can color red with a marker! And for the sparkle of diamonds, just glue shards of mirror onto the sticks with a hot glue gun! Careful, these Winter Roses have thorns!
Now if you’re with someone you REALLY love, Winter Roses may not cut it. In this case, it’s important to give something very personal. Last year, for example, I gave my girlfriend a vial containing a molar floating in my own blood. Talk about FROM THE HEART!2. DINNER
A popular Valentine’s Day tradition, dinner can also be a huge expense. Instead of taking your sig. oth. to a fancy restaurant, I’ve got a tip that’s 10 times as romantic at 1/10th the price! Instead of going out to a crowded restaurant with a bunch of nerds trying to impress their lady, take her on a candlelight picnic in the park! This time of year, the parks are oddly empty. She’ll love the pitch black and dead silence of the park at night. To save even more money, forget the candles and dine by moonlight! You can take whatever food you have in your refrigerator. It becomes twice as easy if you bring left-overs! Make sure to take a tarp instead of a blanket to cover the wet ground. For some extra romance, stare at your girl intensely, not saying a single word. Make sure to breathe very deeply and very slowly. “I don’t know about this,” she might say. Comfort her with your silence; maybe widen your eyes and don’t blink. “What? Why are you staring at me?” she’ll ask. “Trevor, say something.” But you’ll just open your mouth in silent laughter, wide eyes staring romantically into her soul.
3. IMPRESS
You may want to prove to your girlfriend that you know a thing or two about something other than Family Guy and Halo:Reach. Well how about watching one of this year’s most talked about films? This year, the academy seems to have had a love affair with girl movies. Rom-coms such as Blue Valentine would be the perfect movie to watch with your girlf on this holiest of nights. It’s sure to be a movie that’ll have you laughing and falling in love all over again. If rom-coms aren’t your thing, how about Black Swan? It’s got everything girls love: ballet; classical music; make up; love, probably. And if you don’t want to shell out the 26 bucks for a couple movie tickets, why not just illegally download them and watch on your laptop! She’ll be impressed with your culture AND your budget savvyness.
I hope I helped you out on how to save money this evening while still giving your girl the VD of her dreams!
